Curlie Girlie

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thirty is the new twenty November 2, 2010

Filed under: Weight — curliegirlie @ 1:06 pm

Weighed in last night.  I lost 3 pounds this past week.  That’s much better than the last few weeks COMBINED.  So yay!  Total loss so far is 30.4lbs.  Not too shabby!

Some things I did differently:  Exercised more. Cheated Less.  Had more confidence in my ability to do well. 

I think that last one is important.  Over the past few years, when I packed on that EXTRA extra weight (meaning I’ve always had extra, I just put on MORE than “extra”) I hoarded my “skinny” clothes.  In the back of my mind I had a  glimmering hope that I wouldn’t always be the size of Jabba the Hut, and that I would really want those cute clothes someday.  I would periodically try them on, and then get depressed that they didn’t fit, and then go on a binge.  Binging does NOTHING good for you, friends.

So, Sunday evening, I was feeling pretty good.  I had just returned from a pretty full day of chores, hiking around Antrim with Julie, Bobbie, Roxie, and O-Town, helping mom drive her boyfriend home (he is really sick!) and shopping at kohl’s.  I thought to myself, “Self? this is it.  Try them shits on!” 

I pulled out a  pair of brown goucho trousers that I had purchased right after graduating, as ‘hire-me’ clothes.  And you know what?  they TOTALLY FIT.  I even wore them to work yesterday.  It felt gooooooooood. 

I’m nowhere near my goal yet, but I have taken a nice sized chunk out of that pile. 

Ok, Back to Mike and Molly.  I’m still incensed about that article, referenced in the previous post.  I watch this show, and apparently Millions of other americans do, too!  It’s rated the second highest comedy so far.  What I find refreshing about it, is that it is REAL people.  Not supermodels.  Not skinny chick with heavier guy.  I think American identifies with it, because it is a more accurate portrait of middle america.  blahbitty blah statistics about the rise in overweight people blah blah.  

I know that I am working on my issues with weight, trying to overcome not only the physical aspects of my body, but also the mental ones.  The mental parts of the struggle are definitely more difficult and more important than the physical ones.  This is one of the main reasons that I watch the biggest loser.  Every week, Bob and Jillian try to reach a break through with one of the contestants, to make them realize WHY they have these issues.  It’s usually a deep seated emotional scarring of some sort. 

I haven’t really pinpointed my own issues yet, but a lot of it stems from feelings of inadequacy. I’m sure why, but I’ve never really felt that I was “good enough” whatever the hell that is.  I’m starting to realize that I AM worth it, I am allowed to be happy.

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